Posts Tagged Relationships
Poem Analysis “Funeral Blues” W.H. Auden
Posted by asad123 in Films, Poems, relationships on January 22, 2012
(Poem #256) Funeral Blues
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, Silence the pianos and with muffled drum Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
[If this poem sounds familiar to you, perhaps it is
because an actor reads it dramatically at a funeral
for the man he loves. W. H. Auden also
likely wrote it for a man he deeply loved.
I enjoy the following lines, "He was my North, my South,
my East and West,/ My working week and my Sunday rest."
These are the four cardinal directions.The beloved dominates
his sense of both space and time. This suggests he went
everywhere with him and spent every moment with him.
I hear echoes of a very ancient poem in this Auden piece.
The Roman poet Catullus wrote a love poem in Latin that
resembles this one.
(http://www.usu.edu/markdamen/Latin1000/Readings/1020B/25catullus2.pdf/ ) It almost seems
comical that he goes to such lengths to mourn a little bird,
but this was a pet that his beloved adored.
Not everyone can write a poem like this when someone dies.
Yet there is something about the feeling of the poem that
anyone who has lost a loved one will recognize.]
Song Analysis – “Mr. Brightside” The Killers
[Meaning-making should begin with the title. I believe "Mr. Brightside" is an ironic title. The tone of the title is optimistic while the tone of the song is pessimistic.I will explain later in the post.]
Coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doin’ just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss
It was only a kiss
[Coming out of a cage is an experience with which many of us can identify. Without more context, it's hard to pinpoint exactly what this cage is. Judging by the rest of the song, I would guess it is an abusive or unhealthy relationship. But jobs, families, even countries, can be cages. The lines "It started out with a kiss/ How did it end up like this?" say so much with so few words. It's amazing how quickly even the best of relationships can fall apart. The same person who made you feel like you were floating in the clouds suddenly makes you feel like screaming at the top of your lungs.]
Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
[A simple gesture - a man offering a woman a smoke - becomes a huge betrayal. Is he overly jealous? Perhaps. There is a strange intimacy about sharing a cigarette. She places her mouth where he has just placed his.]
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his chest now
He takes off her dress now
Let me go
[Some critics have suggested the woman in this song is a prostitute. If she is, the strongest evidence is here. He watches her hop into bed with a man that it appears she has just met. If you want to argue she's not a prostitute, you might say that these lines describe what the speaker imagines rather than what he actually sees. On the other hand, it's so vivid ("she's touching his chest now") and his reaction so visceral ("my stomach is sick") that it seems too real to be a dream. Also, you might say that she may just be sleeping with this man because she feels attracted to him - not because he is paying her.]
And I just can’t look
It’s killing me
And taking control
Jealousy
Turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr. Brightside
[The speaker feels distraught over what he has just seen. Perhaps he did not know she was a prostitute until this moment. Or maybe he knew, but he was so naive that he thought she would change for him. He compares the sense of betrayal he feels to a swimmer suddenly choking. There is a double meaning to "price I pay." The price is the fee that she charges for her "services." But the price is also the emotional toll he endures because he fell in love with her. In his misery, he sarcastically names himself, "Mr. Brightside." An optimist always looks on the bright side, the hidden good in a seemingly bad situation. Yet the tone of everything he has just said, "jealousy," "choking on alibis," and paying a [heavy] price all reflect his true emotional state – depression.]
I never (x4)
Song Analysis – “Leaving on a Jet Plane” – John Denver
[It might be easier to name the musicians who haven't covered this song than to name everyone who has.
Peter, Paul, and Mary, Janis Joplin, Fiona Apple, Frank Sinatra, Chantal Kreviazuk, Glee, and, I kid you
not, Mos Def have all recorded versions. Folk rocker John Denver wrote this classic song. With simple words, he
captures the heartbreak of leaving his beloved.]
All my bags are packed, I’m ready to go.
I’m standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say Goodbye
[Part of what makes this song so moving is that people from all walks of life can relate to it. How many
people have gotten up early to leave for a long trip, to start school, or to move to a new place? The line,
"I hate to wake you . . ." is touching because it conveys a sweet sensitivity. On one hand, he wants to have
a final farewell, but on the other hand, he feels it might be easier if he just left while she was asleep.]
But the dawn is breaking it’s early morn
The taxi’s waiting he’s blowin’ his horn
Already I’m so lonesome I could die
[As fans of the "Twilight" series should know, "breaking dawn" means the first minutes of the day, roughly
3 or 4 a.m. "Morn" is a poetic form of morning. Writers seldom use poetic forms any more, but a few of
these examples might be familiar: "neath" for beneath, "twas" for it was, "tween" for between. Embarking on
a new phase of life, while exciting can be awfully isolating.]
CHORUS
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you’ll wait for me
Hold me like you’ll never let me go ’cause I’m leaving on a Jet Plane
Don’t know when I’ll be back again
Oh babe I hate to go
[It is all very poignant, but I have to explore, "Tell me that you'll wait for me." You might get a promise
but that promise is not worth much as it's obtained under emotional duress. Here you get the sense that this
isn't just a Spring Break jaunt, it's something more long-term. But the exact length of the absence isn't as
important as the feeling of loss.]
There’s so many times I’ve let you down
So many times I’ve played around
I tell you now that they don’t mean a thing
[He apologizes for all the mistakes he's made in their relationship. He explains that his dalliances meant
nothing to him.]
Everyplace I go I’ll think of you
Every song I sing I’ll sing for you
When I come back I’ll bring your wedding ring
[He's saying that no matter where he goes, he carries her in his heart. This version says "bring your
wedding ring." Other versions say, "wear your wedding ring." It might depend on whether the singer is a man
or a woman. So at this point of the song we realize the couple is engaged, even though they will be apart
from each other.]
CHORUS
Now the time has come to leave you
One more time let me kiss you
Close your eyes I’ll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won’t have to leave alone
About the times I won’t have to say…
[He expresses sadness again about leaving, but he dreams about a time sometime in the future when the two
will take trips together. He wants to be with her, even though he knows he has to leave her for now. There
is a fear, an anxiety that this relationship will not weather this absence. And yet, it ends on a hopeful note
with the promise of a love that will last forever.]
Song Analysis – “Never Say Never” – The Fray
Song Analysis – “Never Say Never” (Don’t Let Me Go) – The Fray
There’s some things we don’t talk about
rather do without
and just hold the smile
falling in and out of love
ashamed and proud of
together all the while
[In most relationships, there are some issues that are never discussed. Some couples never talk about money. Some never talk about sex. One unfortunate result of not discussing these matters is dissatisfaction. A lot of people have learned to smile even when they don’t feel like smiling. Some argue that smiling when one feels bad helps elevate one’s mood. But others say that smiling when one feels unhappy prevents honest discussions of emotions. In an atmosphere of incomplete and dishonest communication, it is no wonder the speaker feels himself “falling in and out of love.”]
You can never say never
why we don’t know when
time and time again
younger now than we were before
[I feel there is a subtext or a missing component that’s not explicit here. The previous line says, “together all the while.” Then this part begins with “You can never say never.” The logical link that’s missing is that the couple says it will be together forever, that they’ll never split up. But the speaker is right to use caution here. It is foolish, albeit romantic, to suggest one will never part from the beloved. The line “younger now than we were before” is cryptic because how can one ever be younger than one was in the past? But if one interprets it as subjective rather than objective, it makes more sense. Obviously, one’s mathematical age will increase until death. But the age one feels can go up or down. Love can make one feel or act like a much younger person. Love can make one naïve. ]
Don’t let me go
Don’t let me go
Don’t let me go
[x2]
[To fit these lines in the rest, I would suggest that the speaker knows that his beloved is falling out of love. He desperately wants to cling to her and try to make the relationship work.]
Picture you’re the queen of everything
as far as the eye can see
under your command
I will be your guardian
when all is crumbling
steady your hand
[The speaker promises to protect the one he loves, come what may.]
You can never say never
why we don’t know when
time, time and time again
younger now then we were before
Don’t let me go
Don’t let me go
Don’t let me go
[x2]
We’re pulling apart and coming together again and again
We’re growing apart but we pull it together, pull it together, together again
[This part is about the back-and-forth of relationships. There are ups and downs. There are moments of closeness and moments of apartness. The difficult thing is deciding when two people have drifted so far apart that they cannot repair the damage.]
Don’t let me go
Don’t let me go
Don’t let me go
[x4]
Song Analysis – “Please Don’t Leave Me” – P!nk
Song Analysis- P!nk – Please Don’t Leave Me
I don’t know if I can yell any louder
How many times have I kicked you outta here?
Or said something insulting?
[A couple is having a fight. They have an on-again off-again relationship. They break up and make up. She’s trying to recall how many times she’s kicked him to the curb or how many times she’s dissed him.]
I can be so mean when I wanna be
I am capable of really anything
I can cut you into pieces
[She’s on a power trip, realizing that she can hurt her partner so badly so easily.]
When my heart is
Broken
Please don’t leave me
Please don’t leave me
I always say how I don’t need you
But it’s always gonna come right back to this
Please, don’t leave me
[She desperately wants him to stay. I think inside she’s very vulnerable, but she puts on a front of being strong. She realizes that she does need him.]
How did I become so obnoxious?
What is it with you that makes me act like this?
I’ve never been this nasty
[Now she’s blaming him for her behavior. She thinks it must be some flaw in him that brings out the worst in her.]
Can’t you tell that this is all just a contest?
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest
But baby I don’t mean it
I mean it, I promise
[The fight is really a battle of wills. She knows that if she’s tough, she can keep control of the relationship. But she doesn’t want to hit him so hard that he wants nothing to do with her.]
Please don’t leave me
Please don’t leave me
I always say how I don’t need you
But it’s always gonna come right back to this
Please, don’t leave me
I forgot to say out loud
How beautiful you really are to me
I can’t be without
You’re my perfect little punching bag
And I need you
I’m sorry
[The line, “You’re my perfect little punching bag,” captures the essence of this song. She constantly puts him down and yells at him, but really she loves him deeply because he fulfills an important role in her life.]
Please, please don’t leave me
Baby, please don’t leave me
No, don’t leave me
Please don’t leave me
I always say how I don’t need you
But it’s always gonna come right back to this
Please, don’t leave me
Please don’t leave me
I always say how I don’t need you
But it’s always gonna come right back to this
Please don’t leave me
Please, please don’t leave me
Song Analysis of Hot and Cold
Posted by asad123 in Uncategorized on November 26, 2008
Song Analysis: Hot and Cold – Katy Perry
You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes
Yeah you, PMS
Like a bitch
I would know
[Clearly women change their clothes often, at least stereotypically they do. I think this is more true of women in the West than around the world. I doubt that women living in small villages in Africa are likely to change their clothes on the hour. The singer is criticizing her boyfriend/husband/lover for being too indecisive. Interestingly, PMS is used as a verb here. Since irritability is one of the most well-known symptoms of pre-menstrual syndrome, to PMS means to act irritably.]
And you over think
Always speak
Cryptically
I should know
That you’re no good for me
[She seems to think this guy is too cerebral. He speaks cryptically, perhaps like Alan Greenspan. This isn’t a good fit for her. She seems to be more spontaneous and less likely to over-think things.}
[CHORUS]
Cause you’re hot then you’re cold
You’re yes then you’re no
You’re in then you’re out
You’re up then you’re down
You’re wrong when it’s right
It’s black and it’s white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
(you) You don’t really want to stay, no
(but you) But you don’t really want to go-o
You’re hot then you’re cold
You’re yes then you’re no
You’re in and you’re out
You’re up and you’re down
[She describes this guy as always going from one extreme to the other. He’s hot then he’s cold. I don’t think she’s talking about temperature. She means that he’s passionate one minute and apathetic the next. She says he’s yes and then no, meaning he can’t make up his mind. The next two seem sexual to me. Being “in” and then “out” as well as “up” and then “down.”
Her relationship is stormy. The two fight with each other, break-up and then miss each other, making up. If you want to see a comical version of this break up/ make up cycle, look for the Seinfeld episode where Elaine and Putty can’t decide what to do with their relationship. The episode is called “The Voice.”]
We used to be
Just like twins
So in sync
The same energy
Now’s a dead battery
Used to laugh bout nothing
Now your plain boring
I should know that
You’re not gonna change
[She talks about having the same energy as her guy. At one time, they seemed perfectly in sync. But now, they have no energy just like a dead battery. Similarly, their conversations used to be easy and they would laugh over trivialities. But now, she finds him boring. The last line here seems ironic to me because she claims he’s “never gonna change.” But it seems that her problem with him used to be that he changed too much – going from hot to cold so fast.[
[CHORUS]
Someone call the doctor
Got a case of a love bipolar
Stuck on a roller coaster
Can’t get off this ride
You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes
[She compares her relationship to bi-polar disorder, otherwise known as manic depression. In bipolar disorder, the patient rapidly oscillates from states of high energy and happiness to states of low energy and sadness. She also compares it to a roller coaster with its frequent highs and lows. She wants to end the relationship but can’t figure out how.]
[CHORUS]
Wondering
Posted by asad123 in Uncategorized on August 26, 2008
Wondering
Wondering if you’re as happy
As you look in pictures
Wondering who you’re talking to
Now that you don’t talk to me
Who listens to you describe that crazy patient?
Who is your sounding board?
Wondering about that no
That ended us
The choice that wasn’t
The life I wanted but without you
Or a life I hated, with you
Was it a hard no?
A gruff consonantal n
Long enunciated o
Meaning never
Not while human blood flows through human veins
Not even if I were the Omega Man
Or was it a soft, squishy no?
A gelatinous concoction
As in “No, not now.”
Or not yet.
Trapped between the n-shaped gate
And the circular enclosure
Formed by that word “no”
That old lie about sticks and stones
This “no” packed a wollop
But somehow
At the same time
Feeling so free
Not tied to any woman
Nor defined by anyone
Except myself
I suppose that’s not really true
I’m still defined
By my brother
By my mother
By my father
By my sister
By my Facebook friends
And by the greatest supporting cast
This side of “Scrubs”
But not you
And I’m wondering if I should feel guilty
That we both seem so much better
Apart
Comedy of Errors
Posted by asad123 in Uncategorized on August 17, 2008
This is my 50th post on WordPress. I wanted to do something special, something substantial. This post is about the search for spouses on Shaadi.com (not to be confused with shadi.com).
The first question our community asks about pretty much anything is, “How much does it cost?” So how much does Shaadi.com cost? Starting is free. This is a payment schedule tried and tested by drug dealers the world over.
“12 months for only US $ 149
Platinum Membership”
Let’s put that price in perspective. For a year’s worth of Shaadi.com Platinum, you could buy
- The DVD Boxed Sets for “Dexter,” “Heroes,” and “Prison Break.”
- 3 Women’s Fragrance Sets by Clinique, Lancome, and Elizabeth Arden
- MS Flight Simulator X, Warcraft III Set, and Civiliation IV
To register on shaadi.com, you have to give a username, password, and cell phone number. Pretty standard stuff. One of the strangest questions I saw was one about blood group. Desis seem to have this idea that one’s blood group is really important. I saw on GEO, the Urdu satellite channel, a diet based entirely on one’s blood group. And now shaadi.com is asking about it. Because if you’re O-, you can’t marry an AB+. That would be unthinkable, right?
ACTUAL ADS FROM SHAADI.COM
So here are some excerpts of actual ads on shaadi.com followed by my scathing commentary.
“I’m _____, 26, from Fort Lauderdale, FL. Im outgoing, adventurous, and I love living life to its fullest. I never pass up an opportunity to travel, and I love meeting new people. Im looking for someone who I can be myself around and enjoy spending time with. . . Needless to say, I don’t get much spare time, but on the occasion do I get some time to myself, I enjoy going to the beach, spending time with friends, movies, sports (playing or watching), dining, shopping, attending live musical performances, and reading.
Im into biographies/autobiographies. I find reading about peoples extraordinary lives extremely fascinating.
Like I said, I love meeting new people, so drop me a line! I WILL NOT talk to you if you dont have a pic. Fair is fair.”
She enjoys going to the beach? Does she wear a bikini? How liberal is this sister?
She’s inconsistent with her contractions. At the beginning she says, “I’m” which is perfectly correct. But then she uses “Im” a couple times. And in the second-to-last sentence she uses “dont” which of course should be “don’t.” Guess what her profession is? She’s a teacher – so she should definitely know better.
Let’s get back to the second-to-last sentence: “I WILL NOT talk to you if you dont have a pic.” As we all know, using caps online is like shouting. So this is something she wants to emphasize. Why can’t she even talk to someone who doesn’t want their face plastered all over the internet? What is she afraid of? Some sweet guy who looks like Quasimodo?
Here’s another one:
“”I’m excited to be part of this site… thought I’d give it a try to meet people. This is it buddies, my time to look… and good luck to other who are already in this challenge! I am not looking to impress, intimidate, nor judge. I am pretty carefree person with a broad-mind. However, I greatly honor my roots and religion, and come from an excellet upbringing. I am looking for a witty, fun, yet a compassionate life partner. Education is a must, and a good sense of humor to laugh over all the mistakes we will make together is even more critical. I don’t expect people to hit a perfect relationship, but the strongest ones are those where people can grow togther. I should stop talking now and let you get in touch with me.”
This one is kind of sweet, so I feel a little bad making fun of it, but not so bad that I’m going to stop. I like the sentence, “I am not looking to impress, intimidate, nor judge.” I totally agree with those sentiments. I do have to point out that she says she comes “from an excellet upbringing.” Clearly that upbringing didn’t teach her how to spell or use spell-check. If this is the way you want to be seen in front of the entire internet, shouldn’t you at least proofread? C’mon people.
Last one, I promise:
“I am placing this ad for my sister she is 28 about 5″4 born in India and raised in Middle East. As her brother i can say that my sister is a calm and easy going person. she is also very fun loving & friendly and has a very good sense of humour Also i consider herself to be assertive and hardworking. She respects her elders and also looks out for her youngers. We are a decent and respectable family raised in Saudi. As a result we have learned to balance both islamic values and the modern world, And we are looking for a person with similar values a balance of deen and duniya. and somone who will take care of my sister. She currently works for berkeley bank in Mumbai. She is strongly career oriented and looking for a partner who would support her in all the endeavors of life and of course he could expect the same. A level headed and gem of a person. She is currently visting me (her brother) in the U. S. If u like her profile u can email her an email address and a pic would be helpfull.”
It’s amazing how many women describe themselves as “easy-going.” But seriously, who’s going to say the opposite – “I’m rigid, inflexible, and unreasonable. If that’s what you’re looking for, IM me.”?
Apparently this ad was taken out by a concerned brother. But he doesn’t seem to be concerned with the rules of English grammar. In the second sentence, he fails to capitalize “i.” This is a mistake that even a fifth-grade should not make. He also starts new sentences without placing periods as he does here, “sense of humour Also i consider herself.” And he’s failed to capitalize “i” again. His worst and most annoying breach comes at the end, “If u like her profile u can email her an email address and a pic would be helpfull.” I think the way this sentence is supposed to read is, “If you like her profile, you can email her an email address and a pic would be helpful.” Texting is destroying our sense of English. When “you” want to say “you,” don’t use “u.”
Take Home Points
A couple of things should be apparent now. First, we, as a community, aren’t taking the search for spouses very seriously. We are more concerned with complexion and height than with the things that really matter like character and faith. Also, if we don’t even take the time to put these ads through Spell Check, what does that say about us? Would any of us submit resumes with this kind of apathy? This means that we care more about our jobs than about the people with whom we plan to spend the rest of our lives and with whom we hope to have children.